Hearts aren't really our guides, are they?
We are -truly- alone.
But sometimes I question if God is up in the sky, holding together my bones.

I am at War.
At war with myself.
At war with my mind, body, & soul.

God, this can't be, God could it be that all we see is it?
Is this it?

I fight against everything I am, what I have become.
I had once pledged, lead, a war on masturbation.
But even then, we shot ourselves.
And then we watch as the rest of us shoot ourselves.
And it's like, "who cares"?

But I do.

Why does it seem like when we lust, cuss, masturbate watch dirty movies and everything ill to the heart, WHY does it seem okay?

Everything seems right.
But its not.

And I know this, I am at war with this.
I do not know its weakness, I do not understand the enemy, I know not the dangers this 'thing' represents, or even where it dwells.

And in the back of my head I hear:
"God must be asleep."

But the weird thing is, recently, I have felt His Grace, reach to this side of madness.

So with all these injured men, what am I to do?

'cause I know this can't be, the great peace we -all- seek.

YOUTH??