I really need to know something.
This is the post of all posts.
If you are going to respond to one post today, make this the one.
I need to know what to do. I've been in the same spot for what seems like... forever. And frankly I am sick of it. I'm sick of this inner conflict about being gay and whatnot.

I KNOW, what the bible says: no gay sex.
Nothing against sexless romantic homosexual relationships.
Okay - but you know, Jesus set a whole new standard, he said, if you think about killing someone, for real, you might as well have done it. Wanting that is a sin. Okay, well... is that really much different. MY GOODNESS, I want to fall in love with someone who won't reject me, with someone who I really can spend the rest of my life with.

And just how realistic is it to fall in love with someone, spend your life with them and not have sex with them? I mean.. just because ONE or two people have done it, doesn't mean it's realistic.

I want to have sex with a teen/man in whom I wish to spend my life with. And love. I'm sorry, but it's out there in the open. And if im going to spend time, looking at people over the internet whom I do not know, I might as well just have sex with someone who is there and going to enjoy it.

I mean its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo damn annoying. Day by day, knowing that 'Hey If I where a heterosexual, things would be so much easier' and one of the thing that PISSES ME OFF, TO NO END, is when heterosexuals make our lives a -minor- event.

They say, "Oh, well just don't have sex"
REALLY?? THATS THE SECRET TO LIFE? IT'S THAT EASY!!!?

Pffffft.
Bullshit.
I mean, really.

So I have to know, is this life?
Be miserable and please God, or do things MY way, perhaps upset God a bit, and end up in the same place anyway? Heaven.

I'm not making light of my sin, but then again - It's going to happen no matter what. I'm going to jack off so some hot teen over the internet or share my LIFE with another person, whom is here, to stay, feel and care.

Someone has to feel this same inner conflict.
This has kept me depressed, suicidal and insane for too long now, and I just need to know. Am i missing something? Or do I have it nailed down, and just have to accept that I WILL displease God with my sexuality?
A sexuality which I did NOT choose to have, which means.. God made me the way I am, am I to accept that God made a person to be miserable?
That doesn't sound like the God I thought I knew.
Then again, I don't know anyone anymore.