Could it be Clolibre that you are carrying a burden that you are actually not being asked to carry anyway? You take things very seriously and that's a part of being Christian but sometimes we can get so hung up on detail . . . .
'my yoke is easy and my burden light' but only if we let God carry it and help us with it all. Perhaps you need to ask God to carry your burden and not try to carry it all yourself?
hang in there buddy x