Christian BoyLove Forum #65566

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Re: Unrequited love

Posted by Eldad on 2013-01-14 14:10:18, Monday
In reply to Unrequited love posted by justchecking24 on 2013-01-14 04:23:47, Monday

Well - I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore, but this post has left me quite stunned. My main reaction is to encourage you to be very grateful for what you've got with him; that 'nothing changed' when you told him how you feel is amazing - most of us who've been there wouldn't have dared say anything, and others who have, have experienced seeing it destroy the relationship.

But of course a lot of this comes down to other things; you've not said how old you are - it's going to be very different if you're 16 or 60 (or just 25). Similarly there's the issue of exactly what you want from the relationship: are you looking for a sexualised relationship with a long term boyfriend? If so in many jurisdictions you may well have already broken the law against 'grooming'. On the other hand if you're merely hoping to enjoy his company over the next few years with no expectation of sex, then we're somewhere else completely.

And of course we have to make a passing reference to the legitimacy of gay relationships for Christians - a label I assume you'd want to claim given that you've posted here rather than the secular BL boards - as well as to issues about sex outside 'marriage', given that making a permanent commitment at the age of 14 doesn't work these days.

Overall your priority must be his good; given that you are the older partner, you are in a better position to work out what's the best for him. And having an adult other than your parents who really cares about you is a big help when you are a teenager - so you can be a major blessing to him. Will he grow to love you as you love him now? Probably not - and certainly you need to assume that he won't. You need to give him space to grow as he wants to, not pressurising him to be what YOU want. But if you do all that, you're quite likely to look back at the times with him as one of the best things in your life, and have him as a real friend for the rest of your life.

Hope there's some wisdom there. You may want to clarify on some of the issues I've raised allow us to be more helpful - but equally be aware that there are less sympathetic readers of this board who would like nothing better than to have you locked away for the rest of your life, so be cautious about what you share.

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