You wrote quite a bit, so I will try to wade through the best I can. It feels like torture since I don't want the experience to end, but that seems the only outcome. As for having other relationships, I am far from socially awkward/isolated. That is one reason I am having such a difficult time with this situation. Out of all the people I know, I fall in love with the one most likely to NOT share the emotion. While interest in experimenting could lead to legal ramifications, it would ease my mind. I would know that I could be a long term partner since I could fill both his emotional and physical needs. I have much of the rest of my life figured out pretty well (income, housing, transportation, etc.), this is the only thing I feel is out of balance. I feel as though I have no direction, and I don't want to make an emotional investment that he will just toss aside. We only get one chance at life, and I don't want to spend it either searching for someone I feel this in love with, or losing time with someone else while this relationship proves useless. I know I should cherish the time I get with him, but knowing there is a likely expiration date bitters the sweet. He and I feel as though nobody understands and accepts him, but he is reluctant to accept that I love him for him. He wants to be normal, as do we all. Who am I to interfere? I could be the best thing for him, but second best is what everybody else wants, so it would be better to blend in. I haven't heard of any relationships like this working in the end, so I feel hopeless. But the love I feel seems like a blessing from God; that I could care so much about somebody else. I just don't understand why it has to end. I think I ultimately know where this situation is leading; I am just giving fate a chance to intervene by possibly finding support and hope.