Christian BoyLove Forum #65439
Thank you for sharing with us. Although your journey is certainly unique, as all of our journeys are; I can recognize a lot of the same questions I had myself in the past.
If God gave you a heart for ministering to youth, then that is what you need to be doing. I do not believe you are a ticking time bomb. I believe that as long as you are clear on where your boundaries are, you are fully capable of staying within those boundaries. There are quite a few of us who have been called to minister to youth, and some of us are quite successful at it and manage to do so in a Godly way. I have been doing it for long enough now that I have seen the fruits of some of my work as the boys I worked with and mentored have grown into Godly young men. We stay in touch through social networking and more than one has expressed to me what a great influence I was in his life. Does it really matter that I was attracted to him sexually if the end result was that I helped guide him towards becoming a more successful individual and a stronger Christian?
If God gave you a talent for working with young people, don't be the wicked and lazy servant who buried his talents for fear of messing up. (see Luke 19 and Mark 25 if you are unfamiliar with that parable). I would encourage you to move forward and use the gifts God gave you.
As to your plan to gain accountability from others, I would warn you to be careful what you divulge. I pray it doesn't happen, but you wouldn't be the first person I know whose ministry was destroyed by a well meaning and well intentioned friend who thought he was doing the right thing by coming forward to his church leadership about the information that was divulged.