You are right that there are countless other BLs who never make the news because they live upright lives and never do anything to get in trouble. I just hate the silent persecution that goes on.

And you're right, I do have a passion for working with teens. Even teens that I do not find attractive. I find that reassuring of the calling on my life. I just need to work out this issue. Even in recent days after posting my first post and doing a lot of soul searching, I feel like I've really come to terms with a lot of things in my life.

I nearly burst into tears when I was reading John 15 again recently, about abiding in the vine, because Jesus says in verse 3, "You are already clean because of the words I have spoken." I never noticed this verse before, but it really spoke to me recently.