I hope someone has been through this before so they can give me some advice.

As mentioned previously, I met my YF when he was 12. We have never had any type of sexual relationship, eventhough I would have obliged had he wanted to. He is 19 now and coming to visit me over the summer. It will be just the two of us. So what happens now? I am still attracted to him tremendously. What I wouldn't give to have something happen between us. I would hate, though, to ruin a relationship that has lasted so long. How am I going to live with him for 2 or three months, him in the room next door, sleeping, while I will lie awake just hoping that he opens the door and slips into bed with me. Are these bad thoughts? Where is this on the Bl/YF relationship continuum? I don't know if I would be able to keep my sanity with him so close, but so far away in terms of a loving relationship. Please advise.

One other thing. What if I find a new YF somewhere here in the next few months, before he comes and visits? That would be awkward I'm guessing.

On a much more positive note. Tomorrow will mark my one week anniversary for quitting my addiction to porn! I have stayed far away from my computer, trying not even to log on if possible. I must say, I already feel so much cleaner, healthier, and closer to God since ridding myself of this horrid addiction. Please keep praying for my success!

Take care everyone, and thanks for being such a support!