I'm going to be really blunt now clolibre and I hope you won't take offence. I think you are focussing far too much on just one aspect of your personality. Yes I know our sexuality is a very important part but it's also a part that likes to have its own way and rule the day whenever it can. It is still only a part of us and, when all is said and done, how much good does our sexual nature actually do in the world? Yes, our sexuality can be a source of great energy and creativity if it can be actually channelled into our life's work but that is where the potter really comes into his own isn't it?
You said 'Does the clay get to say to the potter why did you make me this way or why not make me such?' but I think you are wrong to say no. I think it is exactly the question we are asking (and do ask anyway every time we sit down to pray). God needs us to be asking these questions because otherwise, just as you are desperate to do, we go off and do things on our own and, believe me I've been there, nothing good can come of that. I am thinking of Jacob wrestling the angel and I think we all do this quite often: it is an essential part of our prayer but what we must not be tempted to do is stop wrestling and walk away.
Yes we have this strange burden that we must carry and it can be a heavy load at times but the Christian way is to carry our own burdens to the end and not to inflict them on others: our burden is our way to God isn't it? our share in the cross of Christ and definitely not something that prevents us from coming to God; quite the opposite.
I think that when you are talking about 'the ways of the world' you are confusing two separate strands. Jesus says that he does not remove one jot of the law. We are called to be law-abiding citizens at all times although we are called to be much more than that of course yes . . . the 'ways of the world' that are wrong for us are self-seeking and the search for wealth, not the law and abiding by it . . .
I am not at all saying that you should cut yourself off from the people you love but I am saying that at all times you need to walk with God when you are with them and to act strictly within the law - however intolerable to you that might presently seem.
Please forgive me if I have misunderstood your post. I often get the wrong end of the stick!