Dakota and Brothers,

As a newbie to the group, I have been blessed, edified and uplifted reading many of the posts. I really appreciate the devotionals and prayers. There are many points on which we agree, but there are also points of disagreement, so I am not under any delusion that everyone will agree with my opinions and outlook. I am thankful for a site that offers Christian boylovers a sanctuary, a place of refuge, a place of fellowship to offer and receive encouragement, support, prayer and advice on how to deal with our sexuality in a way that is positive, uplifting and honors our Lord and Savior. I welcome your input. That is the only way I learn and grow in wisdom and understanding.

I have experienced adult/child (man-boy) love from the perspective of the boy, having been involved in an intimate adult/child relationship at the age of 13 (see "reply to Cat" under the heading "found your web site") and also from the perspective of the adult. I do not look upon adult-child relationships with disdain or disgust, nor do I have the typical knee jerk reaction that all boys who are sexually involved with an adult male prior to reaching the age of consent are victims of molestation and abuse.

Many on this site hold the church tradition that marriage is the only venue for sexual expression. This concept, in one form or another, is stated with such confidence that one expects to be able to read this in the Bible. But there is no such statement. Certainly marriage is the preferred relationship for people who engage in sexual relations, but what of all the millions of people who have not found a suitable mate, who are divorced, or who decide never to marry? Does God automatically condemn them to Hell? Frankly, I think my God is bigger than that.

There is the letter of the law.....and there is the spirit of the law.
For example; is speeding wrong? The law says it is. The law states that driving over the speed limit is wrong. Nevertheless, driving through traffic at a high rate of speed to get your father to the hospital because he just suffered a heart attack and you are trying to save his life is not wrong. That action reflects "the spirit of the law", not the letter of the law. There are situations and circumstances in life wherein the spirit of the law supercedes the letter of the law.

I have learned quite a lot about the heart of God by being a parent. I would not condemn my daughter, or turn away from her or stop loving her if she were to engage in sex outside of marriage. If my love for my daughter is unwavering in such matters, how much more unwavering is God's love for us? Are single (unmarried or divorced) people to live their lives void of any sexual intimacy and satisfaction? Of course not. The Apostle Paul never married. Did God love him any less or condemn him to Hell for being unmarried? No.

God created sex. It is a wonderful and glorious gift from our Creator, but the sex act, in itself, holds no intrinsic value. So what is the difference between making love and rape? They are both sex. One is an expression of love and passion and desire, entered into consensually and the other is about control, force, inflicting physical and emotional harm, coercion, and taking someone's body without consent. The difference is NOT the act, for the act is the same. The difference is the motive of the heart. One motive is to pleasure and satisfy, with concern for their welfare and well-being and the other is to control and take by force with no concern for their welfare and well-being.

Despite the societal and religious opposition to man-boy love relationships, I praise the Lord for my love for boys. And yes, that includes my sexual desire for them as well. But how can any view or conviction be right if the church and society says otherwise? I will remind you that the church and society have been wrong about a host of things. Here are two examples...

When Luther and the other Reformers attacked the doctrine of salvation by works they went to battle against the entire body of Christianity. No one in their day believed in salvation by grace. But their position proved to be true according to Scripture and we reap the blessing today of their willingness to fight for the doctrine of salvation by grace against fierce odds. Today we reap the benefit of their courage and conviction.

There was a time when the majority of people believed the Earth was flat. Did they base their opinion on scientific fact, or did they show themselves to be scholars by researching the subject themselves? No. They believed because that is what they were told to believe. After all, the scientists and the politicians knew more than the general populous, so why be skeptical and inquisitive and question what is regarded by everyone as acceptable fact?

The point is that "truth" is not determined by how many people accept or reject an idea, how long it has been believed or how many scholars believe it. The church does not speak authoritatively for God on the subject of morality and sin. We live, not under the Old Testament law, but the New Testament law which was ushered in by Jesus Christ, and under that law we are not bound by church dogma or social standards.

We are challenged in Timothy 2:15 to "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth". That doesn't mean that everyone comes to the same conclusion. As we all know, scripture can be interpreted in many ways. The point is that we make a concerted effort to study on our own to grow in knowledge and wisdom. We may not all arrive at the same conclusion, but God honors our diligence to study, rather than adopt a viewpoint that is believed by the general populous just because a majority of people think that way.

That is where the following scriptures become relevant.

I did not cite them in a previous post, nor site them again, because I am stuck in the 60's, living the hippy, flower power, Haight Ashbury, electric banana, Born to be Wild, "if it feels good do it" life. I cite them because in these verses God admonishes us to use reason and logic to be convinced on how to live our own life with honor and integrity before Him. The salient words are "OUR OWN LIFE", not someone elses.

Just because a brother or sister dislikes oral sex, or is afraid of what God might think if they enjoy it because their pastor says it is on the top 10 list of "unholy" sex practices, does not mean I am held to their standard of what is "right" for them.
Concurrently, if they, in good conscience, object to oral sex, they should not be held to my standard either. I am free before God to engage in oral sex because I approve. I have no aversion to it, nor do I feel that oral sex is dirty, sinful or shameful. Enjoying oral sex does not cause me to feel guilt or shame, diminish my faith or weaken my walk with God, for I am convinced in my own mind that oral sex is an appropriate and enjoyable part of sexual intimacy. Other Christians may abhor and condemn oral sex, but I approve. Therefore, I do not condemn myself in what I approve AND I "partake with thankfulness". My faith remains strong and endures, not in spite of what the Bible says, but because of what the Bible says.

"Let every man be convinced in his own mind." (Rom. 14:5)
Each person must be allowed to have their own conviction before God.

"Happy is the man who does not condemn himself in what he approves." (Rom. 14:22) If a Christian's own informed conscience is clear about what he allows, then he may "partake with thankfulness". (1Cor. 10:30) God grants to each of us the right to decide for ourselves and to exercise our faith in good conscience before Him with thankfulness. One can live a happy life free from condemnation as he pursues those pleasures he approves. That scripture verse grants outright liberty for God's children to exercise their own best judgment about all things. If a brother or sister feels convicted about oral sex and your conviction is different, then you are both commanded to honor the other's convictions. You must allow another the liberty to do as they feel and they must allow you the liberty to do the same. Whether you do or don't do a certain sexual act is not the issue. Whatever you choose to do, "do with praise and thanksgiving to God". (Rom. 14:5-9)