This isn't going to go anywhere because the disagreement is too fundamental. I will just pull back to the reason I made this post in the first place. There is more to the New Testament than just Paul and I feel Paul's writings (particularly those on morality) need to taken in the context of the word of Jesus himself. The constant danger for the Christian community (and any religious institution) is the temptation to build walls around itself to keep out people whom it regards as 'morally inadequate'. Paul does this on more than one occasion whereas I feel Jesus emphasizes time and time again that he is here for the sinner and not for the upright man . . .
for me it is also a deeply personal matter too because I have been excluded from a monastic community because of my conviction.