Christian BoyLove Forum #66832

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Temptation is not sin

Posted by Eldad on 2016-06-25 20:34:39, Saturday
In reply to A Question posted by Unnamed on 2016-06-25 17:56:52, Saturday

This is the central fact that we need to BELIEVE. To be tempted is not sin because Jesus was tempted, without sin. So we can be tempted without sin.

One of the saddest comments from within the celibate Christian gay community is that they often feel they are more guilty than their straight brethren because the focus of their attraction is someone of the same sex. In fact there's no difference; all are tempted - it's what you do with the temptation.

How precisely to deal with the cute person in front of you at this moment is therefore in this context. Hanging around deliberately to drool is clearly a bad idea. Getting all flustered and running away, disrupting what you were doing, is probably unnecessary. One answer is to thank God for the person, and pray His blessings - and move on. We need to recognise we are human, and responding sexually is part of that. However we must move on quickly.

This advice is applicable whatever the nature of the object of our desires. There's never an excuse for looking for the thrill. We must recognise we are on the edge of the cliff - and can fall. But the alternative - of pretending there is nothing going on, and locking down any awareness of the attraction - is unhealthy.

A final point: in my experience the degree of sexual attraction to a person can fluctuate wildly. I've often found that a sexual attraction will fade as I get to know someone properly and become less significant. The important thing is to be honest with yourself - and in an ideal world with someone else, though that may be unrealistic - about what you are experiencing. Again praying for the person - without that becoming an excuse to focus on what they look like! - can be helpful. And ultimately consider how you would want to be treated; does the idea of being the focus of a random someone else's sexual fantasy seem fair?

So, in that context, where does that leave you? Ultimately you need God's guidance for your specific situation: we can ask questions for you to consider, but unless an action is clearly a sin, it's wrong to be dogmatic; such is the way of legalism, but is not God's way. Is there some mileage in seeing what happens? Start to spend a bit more time with him - and see how it goes. It does require you to be brutally honest with yourself: is this a healthy relationship or am I lusting over him? But unless you are losing control, mere twinges aren't a big problem. And it's important to bear in mind that you can be a big blessing to him; children need more adults in their life than just their parents, and parents need time when their kids aren't around.

I hope there's some wisdom in there. We live to serve God, and we are often able to serve Him by blessing kids with our presence under the right conditions. But we must be able to say honestly that we're not getting it wrong.

May God show you by His Holy Spirit what is right FOR YOU.

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