Christian BoyLove Forum #66799
Thank you for your sincere concern about my happiness.
"Case in point:
we believe that we have a highly conditional acceptance from those around us. Often close friends are unaware of our real struggles, and we don't, rightly or wrongly, take the risk of unveiling to them. So the real us is unknown, and we struggle to appreciate the love that they do offer, because 'if only they knew, they'd reject us' is a thought that we can't escape."
The above describes having doubts considering the acceptance of others.
Aren't most anime watchers reluctant to admit they are doing it? They may choose to tell a friend about that, but generally don't go around screaming. Watching anime is an accepted practice, but it is somehow shameful to admit.
Just revealing the fact, that one watches anime to a friend is not very scary. However, in case somebody had enemies, one might find himself called names, considered less manly etc. by some people, if the fact was spread as a rumour.
Every healthy anime watcher might be ashamed and reluctant to admit they are doing it. This doesn't neccesarily make him a sad person who needs help.
So, to sum up, being reluctant and shameful about admitting boylove to a friend is not as "destructive" as you make it seem. This doesn't stop us from enjoying our lives.
However, reading Eldad's post made me reconsider the reasons I do not reveal to my IRL friends. It was apparent to me that I indeed DO somehow doubt their reaction to this part of me.
On the other hand though, boylove (thankfully) thanks to God's grace takes less and less space in my life. I think, that if something doesn't occupy that much of my time, it doesn't have to be revealed even to the closest friend. Also, in my culture (I am afraid) accepting a pedophile might be hard, even for a well-meaning person. Why would I challenge my dear friends with a task of accepting such a hard truth, if it isn't very meaningful to any of us?
I hope that explained how Eldad's post was relevant and helpful in my life, and why the described thought pattern is not as destructive as one might think.