Christian BoyLove Forum #66177
For anything to happen in the future, you're assuming that:
1) He won't have changed while you're out of contact
2) He will still be interested in hanging out with people of your age; the reality is that boys tend to get more focused on their age group as they do the teenager thing
3) The spark will still be there between you.
I think you need to work at moving on; you've got the possibility of being a good friend to other people, perhaps boys, perhaps not. To forgo all that in the slight hope that things will go back to what they were, is destructive.
Which is hard to hear; and you have every right to mourn the loss of a very close friendship. One of the horrible parts of being a BL is that we tend to feel we have to avoid talking about how much the boy who's left our life meant to us - it's dangerous. And so we bottle it up - and that's NOT GOOD. I recommend complaining to God about it all; the Psalms are full of that sort of prayer - and we need to express ALL that we are feeling to God. After all, it's not going to come as a surprise to Him! e.g. Ps 41 is David complaining about his enemies; Ps 44 is complaints at a lack of success despite being faithful.
I hope things are feeling better.