Christian BoyLove Forum #64830

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Don't you ask hard questions!

Posted by Eldad on 2011-07-12 09:45:05, Tuesday
In reply to What exactly is this site about? posted by Tanner on 2011-07-11 23:29:40, Monday

The truth is that there is a substantial group here who agrees with you that a sexualised relationship with a child is always wrong. There's also a substantial group that takes a less hard line - that's explicitly the ethos of Whilst having such a debate can be interesting, it's likely to generate more heat than light, as different people appeal to radically different ways of looking at the bible. (For the record I'm someone who thinks a sexual relationship should only occur inside a marriage between a man and a woman.)

Having said that, I have to add that it's actually far more complex: a very helpful book for me is Keith Clark's 'An Experience of Celibacy'; he writes from the perspective of being a Catholic Franciscan Friar (i.e. the sort of monk who is actively involved in the world). He deals very honestly with the difference between full on, penetrative sex at one end of the spectrum, and entirely appropriate non-genital relationships that in practice fill the sexual need within us. For some of us here, that means having positive, close relationships with boys that are beyond criticism. Others have decided that wouldn't be wise for them. But it's when we try to pretend that those needs aren't there that we start to get into trouble; finding a place like this where you can start to talk about these issues is extremely valuable. This is because the Western church is far too individualistic in its approach, with little or no provision for real fellowship / sharing about what's really going on in our lives.

I hope the above will encourage you to stick around; to find a place where our most painful struggle can be talked about honestly can be extremely liberating, and to some extent fulfils the biblical COMMAND to confess your sins to one another (James 5 v 6) - something which BLs tend not to have the freedom to do.

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