You can argue with Webster about it's dictionary's definition if you want

I once watched a highly informative and entertaining talk by a lexiconographer (writer of dictionaries) who explained the process and was entirely too excited about words in general. I believe it was in one of the Ignite Seattle talks, but unfortunately I don't see it on their youtube channel.

Nevertheless, the point is that, at least in the English language, the dictionary does not define words. The dictionary attempts to catalogue what the modern understanding of a word is. As the word's definition changes, dictionaries should eventually start integrating those definitions into their description. Thus, a dictionary is not the final arbiter of what a word means. We as a people decide what it means and it is the dictionary that must adapt to fit the definition society has given the term.

To molest someone implies a certain level of abuse, be it by trickery, coercion, the use of force, or the threat of force. It isn't a very accurate way to describe all bl/yf sexual relationships.

I think it's more than enough reason. If you took all the boys who were sexual with an adult and figured out the percentages of those that were harmed in any way or regretted it later, and that percentage was the same regarding how often you were hurt whenever you took a drive, I'd never drive again, and I doubt you would either.


Do you have some statistics or are you just guessing that the percentage would be high?

I think you vastly over-estimate how many boys consider sex with an adult as loving and pleasurable.

and I think you are vastly under-estimating it. Obviously, one of us is wrong. What makes you think it is Cat or I and not you?

Let me be blunt here. If a boy gets his dick sucked, it's going to feel good. That doesn't mean it's loving and pleasurable for him.

First of all, must you be so crude? There are many ways you could have put that point across without resorting to such crudeness.

Second of all...you do realize you just claimed that just because it feels good it doesnt mean it is pleasurable right? Something that is pleasurable is something that feels good, that's what it actually means. As to whether it is loving or not, that depends on whether it was an act of love.

The ironic part is that "feeling good" will often just confuse the poor kid.

I have no doubt it can confuse the kid. But "often"? I can't say I have any statistics to show whether this would be the case often or not. Do you?


He may not like what is happening, he may even be disgusted by it.

Or he may like it.


This may cause him to ask himself "so why am I getting off?" "Am I gay?" "Am I a pervert?"

or it might not

You keep pointing out things that could happen or things that might happen. You don't bring any statistics or actual facts that might help us see if the possibilities you are pointing to are likely or not. Then you expect us to reach a conclusion based on following a chain of things that could maybe happen. That's not a logical approach to proving a point. It is just as easy for me to create my own chain of events that "may", "may even", and "might" happen and that lead to the opposite conclusion as yours; that wouldn't help my case any more than your chain of "may"s and "might"s does.

Multitude of examples? If you know of any multitude of example, please post the links.

The problem here is that those for whom a sexual relationship was not at all traumatic are the least likely to go public with it. If this was a normal and healthy thing you experienced as a child and it has had no significant impact in your life, you wouldn't be focusing on it so much that you are driven to write about it, do interview about it, etc.

I could easily cite a dozen or more examples. But then I would be betraying the confidence of the men and boys involved in those relationships. The fact is that the only people who write about these things are people for whom it was a terrible experience, all the rest, which for all we know may be the overwhelming majority, just go on about their lives without focusing on this issue.

Whatever benefit a man can have in a boy's life can be had without being sexual with him.

This is one thing I do agree with you on and I thank you for bringing it up.

What I do not accept or believe is that this happens very often.

The problem is that your belief is based on nothing. Do you have statistics? Do you have evidence? Gut feelings just aren't really worth anything.

I don't believe it happens very often, nor do I believe it does not happen very often. Since I do not have solid statistics, I will be the first to admit that I have no clue how often it happens.

There is only one thing I do know, based on the knowledge accumulated through years in the bl community and the dozens of BLs and YFs I have come into contact with over the years; it definitely happens far more often than those outside the community imagine.