It's always good to hear that at least some of our words are making sense to others.

Not sure about 'Death in Venice' - it's too painful for me. It probably doesn't help that I find the boy relatively unattractive... But as a tale of infatuation to the nth degree it is very powerful.

The wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_in_Venice

indicates that the story is based on the actual experience of the author, with the real boy being identified. His wife writes:

All the details of the story, beginning with the man at the cemetery, are taken from experience … In the dining-room, on the very first day, we saw the Polish family, which looked exactly the way my husband described them: the girls were dressed rather stiffly and severely, and the very charming, beautiful boy of about thirteen was wearing a sailor suit with an open collar and very pretty lacings. He caught my husband's attention immediately. This boy was tremendously attractive, and my husband was always watching him with his companions on the beach. He didn't pursue him through all of Venice — that he didn't do — but the boy did fascinate him, and he thought of him often…"

Which puts a different spin on it!