Thanks you both for sharing and being honest, I'd wondered often what it was about it when I heard the term YF but now I now have a clearer idea of how it works. Dakota my respect also goes out to you for being sensible enough and having self control and seting boundries at where it was needed.

For me not wanting to have a YF or to be around boys is not beacuse of a weaknesses or temptation as I trust my self fullheartedly because my morals in life are clear and absoloute and they guide me...

Its more the fact that even friendship for me would feel like alterior motive and unfair on a YF as I would not be able to fully be honest with him, when I think about it if I wasn't who I was then there would be no need for me to even think about a YF and if Im going to feel the need for it just because of who I am and even if it is just on a strictly hang out as friends type basis then that person should have a right to know this instead of being a tool of my desire and seeng as thats not going to be possible to tell him the truth then its just its fairer I just continue with this dreaded life alone as the other option would make me feel deceitful and complicate my life even more..


I dont need anymore secrets and I dont wanna be around the things that make me feel like Im missing out on life, when I have seen boys roaming in the outside world I've ended up becoming more depressed and feeling resentment at the world and angry at myself for having something like this. I'm actually happier when I dont see them or think about them and being alone away from people is the choice I've made.

I am seriously happy for you guys that you have found peace with life but as much as it may sound like Im stuck making life difficult for myself please dont judge harshly on it.