the other night I went and met up with the guy who mollested me as a kid.

I haven't seen him for over 20 years.

There he was... a bit older but much the same.

Turns out he's only 4 years older than me... but when I was 9 and he was pubescent... it was a big difference to me.

We had a good long chat and he was very open with me which I appreciated.

He got to go on and be gay.... I get to be the pedo.

Some people have all the luck.

I was looking for answers... in going to see him. He did help me to remember some things.

He reminded me of a kid I knew when I was like 7. And I suddenly rembered having a little "thing" for that kid. I knew nothing about sex back then... but I was curious and this kid was the focus of my curiosity. Nothing ever happened... I found out one day that he didn't wear underpants under his shorts and that got me very interested.

The point is... I now can remember being interested in a boy BEFORE I got mollested.

Also the guy I went to visit said..."you were already going that way... that's why we hooked up in the first place".

So what a mind shift this all is.

Would I have been a pedo if I hadn't been 'touched' as a kid? I can remember my fantasy life changing from being blown by a woman to being blown by my mollestor.... but...

Oh Cat... is there really any point chasing after these things????

Sigh.

Well that's my news for the day.
Cat.