All single members of the church are called to the same challenge, and the deafening silence of an institutional church that is largely run by married people is one of its many failing. It's important to put it in that context, as we sometimes come to believe that we are the only struggling with this issue.

The best book I've come across on the issue is Keith Clark's 'An Experience of Celibacy'. He is a Capuchin Friar - a kind of Franciscan monk - who lives out in the world, often running parishes. He is brutally honest about the challenges of his choice of lifestyle, noting with great sadness the many members of religious orders and the Catholic priesthood who do end up married (it was written before the sex scandals). His central approach is to deepen our experience of God; he makes extensive use of the phrase 'Finding God concrete', i.e. to be found as a present reality. However he also talks about the need for a range of friendships.