Christian BoyLove Forum #66964

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Hi again!.. and The Netherlands

Posted by Confidential on 2017-09-08 19:44:21, Friday
In reply to Back, and The Netherlands posted by CliveStaplesLewis on 2017-09-08 03:12:06, Friday


Lovely to have you back!

It would be even more lovely if we could strike up a conversation via e-mail ;)

I watched Westworld too, but the scene that "revealed the boy's face in more detail" was pretty shocking o.O

Either way: I know it is a sign of a weak mind to reduce phenomenona to one thing only, but it seems to me that the reason boys do that might be simply that it is counter-cultural. Couple that with the fact that it makes them look calm and in control [not ashamed of one's body] and you have what seems to be a perfect way of elevating your social reputation among peers, at least in some circles.

Well, if this stays around then the next counter-cultural step will be challenges to run absolutely naked... and I don't think that's a very good idea.

1.Is this the best thing ever, or the worst?

There are good and bad sides to it, but I'll just cover some here, especially in light of Jason's talk [mentioned below].

Generally, this leads to the lowering of standards; the answer to the question "Should I reveal more of my body to that person?" is going to be 'yes' more and more often. What does that lead to? For example, probably a greater prevalence of sending nude or half-nude pictures among teens [duh] or even public videos; a trivialisation of nudity that will take away from marriage - it is partly about giving the whole of a person to the spouse, and since so much of the body is already shown to all willing to look, how is the gift of the body a good or great thing?

We can also go into the effects of such behavior on proper body image. If somebody is showing off his/her body to the Internet at such a young age, there is the psychological risk of the body becoming more important to the child than it should, especially for girls.
Jason Evert: 'What's the feminine struggle? I think, more often than not, it's the fear of aloneness'.
And since the body has already helped to remedy that fear, the child might want to use it that way again and again. The body will need to be MORE: more fit, more slender, more x, more y, more z. I could see that being a factor in the development of, let's say, eating disorders.

Now, also, one of the most beautiful things in this world is a healthy human body and we may see and appreciate more of that. But is that really worth the cost?
Of course, there's a lot more arguments to this debate, but I do not think so.

2.And then, what if my previousl mentioned perfect boy did come along, tantalized and educated by the same (perhaps literal, lol) carrot and we did strike up a sexual/romantic reltionship; what then?

This question really digs into the deepest meaning and morality of so-described-boylove. If I understand you correctly, it goes along these lines: "In the perfect society [in perfect circumstances], would it be moral to have a sexual/romantic relationship between a man and a boy?". There have been countless discussions on this issue...

I believe that the answer is no:
1. That would be a homosexual sexual relationship, which I believe is wrong;
2. The sexual act could only happen in a marriage, and I believe that marriage is always between a man and a woman; therefore it is impossible to have a man-boy marriage;
3. The sexual relationship ["marriage"] would have to be life-long, which doesn't seem to be the goal here [correct me if I'm wrong].


I think that Jason Evert has a great insight into the morality of sexual or para-sexual stuff in our lives:
[ link:, interesting parts: 19:24 - 21:20, 23:20 - 25:24, 26:20, 29:58-31:15 ... there are a lot of interesting parts xD especially in the first 30 minutes of the talk]
I'll mention one specific quote by him. He says:

"In one afternoon of looking at porn a guy looking at porn can see more flawless women's bodies than any man in history could've seen in a thousand lifetimes. And you get it in one afternoon (...) You do it for a couple years, jump in a marriage and think you're gonna be captivated by one woman until death do you part.

My buddy here in college, I mean, he had all the porn, nobody else really knew about it, but then he started dating this girl, we were all friends together, were going to daily Mass together, all this stuff... and they got married and he's thinking 'I'll throw it away when I get married'. I went to the wedding, it was a beautiful wedding, all the Franciscan people there [he's referring to the audience who are students at the Franciscan College]; guy's divorced in three months. All he had to do is take all the lust he had for porn and look at his bride that way, the marriage's over as soon as it started."

In a different part of this talk he said that part of the mission of marriage is the sanctification of the spouses, because the faults in the spouses rise up in the relationship and need to be adressed. But first there is the period of singleness - and one of the best things we can do during that time is to clear away this dirt, addictions, faults of various kinds etc. so that our later spouse [in other words - our marriage] doesn't have to withstand the hardships of dealing with these hard parts of us.


I think that most of what chastity does is it prepares us for the future marriage. And while it is true, that some people never get married, they should still treat their own bodies and the people around them with proper respect; and the prospect of being married someday and describing the event to your future spouse seems like a great way to find whether something is proper or not, regardless.


Your last sentence seems a little morbid; I hope you will be wholly united with Christ, praise Him with prayer and good works and live joyfully in His Name.

Also, there is a helpful distinction made by St. Ignatius of Loyola in our lives between times of consolation and desolation. I can recommend this simple list that lets you see where you are at a specific moment; consolation, desolation or anything inbetween:[ it is shown for a very short time at 32:36].
It has helped me a lot to recognize that on a specific evening I might not be able to feel God's presence so much and it's not my fault. Then I can pray to God for faith and thank Him for letting me stay by Him even in this [often quite miserable] state.

I pray that He who is love will continue to care for you and hold you next to His heart.

With love,

"1This is what the Lord says:

“Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool.
Where is the house you will build for me?
Where will my resting place be?
2 Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?”
declares the Lord. "

( Is 66, 1-2)

"27 “But, God, can you really live here on the earth? The sky and the highest place in heaven cannot contain you. Surely this house which I have built cannot contain you. 28 But please listen to my prayer and my request, because I am your servant. Lord my God, hear this prayer your servant prays to you today. " (1 Kings 8)

"9 Solomon finished building the Temple of the Lord and his royal palace and everything he wanted to build. 2 Then the Lord appeared to him again just as he had done before, in Gibeon. 3 The Lord said to him: “I have heard your prayer and what you have asked me to do. You built this Temple, and I have made it a holy place. I will be worshiped there forever and will watch over it and protect it always."
(1 Kings 9)

PS. I've recently discovered the Breviary and it completely rocks! There are prepared prayers [for all times of the day, every day something different] using Scripture, various hymns and sermons; all tied together with great responsories and other prayers! Try it sometime, I especially recommend the Office of Readings with the Invitatory Psalm: (for 09.09.2017)

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