Christian BoyLove Forum #66907

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The 'why me' question

Posted by Eldad on 2016-10-22 04:08:07, Saturday
In reply to thanks posted by jaackov on 2016-10-22 00:21:57, Saturday

A major trope in modern Western society is the idea 'You DESERVE better'. A lot of advertisers play on this, and Trump's campaign, along with all those who are using 'identity politics', including Hillary, start from this assumption. It is not, however, what the bible teaches. There Paul is unambiguous that all that we deserve is death, because we are sinners, i.e. rebels against the one who knows what is truly good and demands we conform. He demands this because He knows what is best, and that our choices will fall short of that ideal, with negative consequences for those around us.

The universe is set up to bring bad consequences on sinners: the phrase 'You will reap what you sow' is based on a bible verse (Gal 6:7); this is the flip side of it being set up to bring blessing on those who are holy. The good news is that we don't reap all that we sow; God's grace, made possible by the death of Jesus on the cross, ensures that much of the consequence of sin is held back (a doctrine known as 'common grace'), as well as offering us salvation and eternal life. The bad news is that this means we DESERVE everything negative that happens to us, and a whole lot more.

So it's in this context I want to challenge your statement: 'A life with no love is not a real life and I'm sure this is not the life which we've to experience.' Our primary relationship should be with God, and getting to experience His love in the here and now is the ideal to which we should all aspire. Keith Clark, a Roman Catholic monk (actually a Capuchin Friar, which isn't a monk, but let's not get picky here) offers ways to work on this in 'An Experience of Celibacy'. He talks about 'finding God concrete' - a presence who IS there to engage with.

The second point is that you are confusing 'love' with 'love'; you are assuming that the only love you can experience is that which has a sexual component. This is simply wrong; we need love, but it doesn't have to be sexual love. There's a family I regularly spend time with who offer me wonderful amounts of love, but it's not sexual in its nature. We need love, but it doesn't have to be sexual to satisfy us. Yes, we have to work on making those relationships: they're not as immediately attractive as being with boys, but they will reward us if we persevere - again not something we are good at in our present society!

I hope that's helpful. Ultimately we have to decide whether the gospel is true - and then live under what it commands - or not. If it is true, then we have to make the best of things in this world, believing that it will make sense in the end. We CAN find love, and it may include non-sexual engagement with boys. But we have hope for the future, and in the interim should use our talents to serve God and others to the best of our ability.

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