Christian BoyLove Forum #66855

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Welcome aboard

Posted by Eldad on 2016-09-12 04:12:47, Monday
In reply to I was abused in the past... posted by CaVi on 2016-09-12 02:45:28, Monday

You've found a place where we are all struggling with the sorts of things that you are. However the crucial Christian perspective for me is that we have hope; the hope that one day all this struggle will be over and we will be the God who will wipe away every tear. When push comes to shove, that's all that really keeps me going.

As far as feeling addicted to porn: it's crucial to understand that we are in the same boat as the adult attracted heterosexual. Porn addiction is horribly common (statistics suggest most men visit porn websites). The fact that our fantasies are about sex that is illegal is a detail. It's that we are objectifying another human that is the central problem. The failure of the church to be honest about how many of its members have this struggle is a great shame. If you happen to go to a church where there IS a support group, then it might be worth going along; at least one of our members did so and by not saying - as should be unnecessary - what the type of porn was, got significant help.

Of course the element where our attraction is a problem is where we are seeing children being harmed. If we view that material then we are encouraging its production, even if we aren't paying for it directly. This is because we give the producer a sense of achievement: there are all these people appreciating my material, so I'm doing something of value.

On a practical level, keep busy. It's the quiet moments when we are on our own when things get out of hand; if there are people around, you won't be so subject to temptation.

Some resources:

is a US ministry offering support to Christians who are struggling in this area. Although presenting as being for those who have been through the criminal justice system, it does a wider job

For the UK

is a ministry mainly concerned with adult attracted people, but in fact do have the knowledge and resources to provide help for us 'minor attracted adults' as the fashionable phrase is!

But overall, start with your relationship with God. He HAS forgiven you, and is seeking your best. Look to Him to show you how to do better. Remember He does love you - that's why Jesus died for us.

I hope there's some wisdom in all that. May you find a way forward that allows you to live a life glorifying to God and fruitful for Him. And don't get the idea that we've got it sorted; the struggles continue, but it will be worth it in the end.

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