Christian BoyLove Forum #66489
The church needs to speak VERY carefully on the gay issue; there's a strong tendency to make 'gays' them, and indulge in scapegoating, probably driven by people's own guilt in the sexual arena. The best sermons on the topic start with admission by the preacher that he has messed up sexually. A well placed hack at straight guilt should follow - no shortage of targets - before finally recognising that we ALL are tempted in differing ways. Given a conservative presupposition that celibacy is the only option for the 'gay' - as well as all others not married - the sermon should ideally then point out that Jeremiah, Jesus and Paul, along with many other saints whom we revere in church history [John Stott and Mother Teresa from opposite ends of the modern church!], were celibate; the interesting question is why 'bible believing churches' so often expect their young people to get married!
As to us: the core choice, having decided to be celibate, is whether to have a lot to do with boys or almost nothing. Both strategies can work well - though the level of paranoia these days makes it harder to develop appropriate contacts. This may require boundary setting: having a single boy sleeping at your home is probably unwise, but a group may be a great blessing to you and to them.
The core rule for ALL single people is to work at real relationships; for us BLs, the step of being open about our temptations is especially problematic, but once admitted, it is very positive. You know you've cracked it when your close friend starts talking about his own challenges in the area!
Keith Clark has written a couple of books that are very helpful: he's a Franciscan Friar who has watched too many of his brothers succumb to the temptation of marriage, and gives some very useful hints about living as a single Christian, despite having the advantage of living in a community setting.
"Experience of Celibacy"
"Being celibate and sexual"