boychat.org is exists for everybody with and without faith; this board exists mainly to support Christians, which has something to do with believing in God, which you don't appear to. I'm not telling you you're not welcome - just that BC is probably going to be more relevant.

And the size of this post is too much to cope with; I got about half way through before deciding I had other things to do. Which is a pity - because there's some great stuff in there. So may I recommend your posting your personal story on BC, before following up with the rest of it.

Hope that's not too negative...