Christian BoyLove Forum #65477
I think it's easy for people here to come to conclusions that may or may not be true since you only share with us things that have to do with your yf, boys in general, or being a bl. But sharing only those things is natural. Why would you come here and share about your recent hunting expedition or trip to the holy land if boys aren't involved? It's quite possible you aren't obsessed with your yf. Even then, I think Eldad's advice is good in that you should have many things that bring you joy and not just one person. If that's already the case, then that's great.
On another note, I disagree with your statement that love should be selfless. A relationship based on love is a partnership where both partners should be equal and need to compromise with each other. Relationships based on selflessness always end up with one partner giving up a lot more than the other and being taken advantage of. In the case of a boy, there is the added dimension of the lesson you are imparting on him. Do you really want to teach your yf that in a love-based relationship, he should be the king and have everything his way? That's a recipe for creating a terrible boyfriend or husband whose relationships are one sided and unhappy. Loving relationships are not about selflessness, they are about mutual respect and compromise. In a love-based relationship, both partners should be making sacrifices. As someone who, for better or worse, is in the position of teaching them about love through our actions, I think it's important for the relationship to be based on those things and not on selflessness. He shouldn't get to do everything he wants to do, he should get to pick half the things you do, and you should be picking the other half. Sometimes that will mean you have to sit through his boring horror movie choice, but sometimes he has to sit through the drama you chose. Sometimes you get to stay home playing video games like he wants, other times he has to come outside and throw the frisbee like you want. Compromise is the key, not selflessness.