Christian BoyLove Forum #64783
Welcome as well, if you're a new user.
Having said that, I can say I've been where you have, as have most of bl's I believe, at some point or another.
Thankfully, my life has evolved to where... I'm basically happy (and... proud?) of my 'condition', but that's not to say I dont still experience moments of pure unadulterated loneliness.
I offer my agreement with that essay Blackstone posted. It rings mostly true even to my experience in overcoming those struggles.
For curiosity's sake, how much exposure do you get with kids? Cuz that's one thing that really helped me, actually (I'm around boys a lot).