My friend Peter, who died of cancer about 10 years ago, once taught me the difference between love and sex. He demonstrated this by first kissing me on the lips - saying that's sex - and then kissing me on the forehead - saying that's love.

Yeah, you're right. Sex isn't necessary to love someone. But I think there's a case for sex being one way in which we can express our love for someone.

I really dont know what advice I could give regarding the question of identity. We are who we are, I guess.