Christian BoyLove Forum #63658
Within myself I seem to find a complete lack of harmony between my sexual feelings towards children (and my own ugly desire for sexual contact with them) and an overwhelming desire to protect them from harm (including molestation).
I feel exactly the same. I suspect many pedophiles do. It's almost like an internal war, where I get these thoughts and desires and am then sickened by them. Strange how a person can be both turned on and repulsed by the same thoughts. I guess we have to remember that here on Earth there will always be a struggle between good and evil. We just seem to personify it more than many.
I think it's important to forgive ourselves as God forgives us. For me, this has always been hard, not just to forgive myself when my thoughts stray, but I also find it hard whenever I mess up in everyday matters or at work. But I'm working on it and I HAVE gotten better at cutting myself some slack. :)
As for the guys trapped by PJ.......my impression of most of them is that they are just sad and lonely people who probably wouldn't have pursued meeting a minor for sex if they hadn't been actively and strongly tempted by PJ. I could be wrong, and it's important that people learn to control themselves in spite of temptation. But you don't keep setting booze in front of an alcoholic and then chastise him when he tries to take a drink.