I believe the answer to this question is simple.

1. I don't think God wants you to deny what you feel. You feel it. To deny it would not make one shred of difference.

2. God accepts you feelings and all. Furthermore, you are quite welcome to go to Him with all your frustrations and concerns. He'll accept you and listen to you and comfort you and encourage you and strengthen you. He loves you and is genuinely concerned for you. If God has made you (or allowed you or whatever) to be gay... then be what God has called you to be. Accept it... learn to live with it.

3. Suffer to obey. I believe that to be biblical you have to submit your homosexual urges to God. You want something you cannot have. It's ok to want it... but the expectaion is thay you suffer the going without it. Accept you can't have it. Accept the pain that will cause you. Accept that you will have to live with that.... do it all for the glory of God.

4. Love others. Have lots of loving, non-sexual relationships. It's ok for you to be in love with someone within those relationships, but suffer the not indulging it sexually.

5. Finally, if you want a companion, seek a wife. In my opinion it is the only given biblical option. If you are willing to be faithful to her, being gay will make marriage difficult but not impossible.

I think the reason you are struggling is because, in your pain, you have concluded that you shouldn't be where you are. I don't beleive that is accurate. You are where God has put you and where He wants you. Acceptance of your situation and God's expectation is all you need to do to find contentment. It will be painful... but in that pain you can know joy, peace, fulfilment and love.

Blessings
Cat.