I have put a lot of effort over time into "cleaning up" my masturbation fantasy.

I tried the whole ... tugging without fantasy... deal... but I either lost arousal or found that the persistance of non-deliberate... or random... boy images was unavoidable. And if I didn't deliberatley construct some then flashes from real interactions or real boys I'd seen would pop up most unwelome.... things I wouldn't "choose" to fantasise about.

I tried the focus on a boy just going about his life in a non-sexual way... and this had some appeal at first... but it was just too easy and too desirable to eroticise the fantasy.

I don't want to actively fantasise about real boys in my life. Nor about actors or other real boys from pics and stuff.... so... what has worked very best for me is to fantasise that I have an imaginary yf who is a younger version of myself... the ultimate in narcisim I know... but I am now my own lover and since masturbation is about pleasuring oneself then this seems right in line with the solo nature of the practice.
However, as time has gone on and the character of my imaginary yf has developed he's becoming his own person in ways very different to how I was as a boy... maybe he's becoming who I would have been if I'd had a man to love me (and I don't mean sexually) when I was a kid.

Now since it's impossible to actually go back in time and have sex with yourself such that you CANNOT SIN this way... then can it be sinful to imagine it??? (yes I was being a bit cheeky there).

Blessings
Cat.