When I look at my feelings for boys I don't see it in black and white terms.

I don't say... "well the friendship I want that is good
the sex I want, well that is bad.
The affection I want is good unless it leads to romantic affection then it is bad..." etc


this kind of thinking gets tangled up really quick and you can't sort one thing out from another.

Instead I see that every aspect of my life is effected by sin. So every good and wholesome thing will have some sin elements.

For example: I may hug a boy. In that hug there could be a whole mix of things. The joy of my love for him, the expression of my affection towards him and his towards me, the love of touch, the affirmation of care, the electric sensation of excitement at having his body against me, the desire I have to grab his butt or pull him in closer, the hunger I feel to kiss him, the delight and thrill I get from how he smells or how soft his hair is.
The hug is neither good nor bad... in the sense that I could not say hugging the boy is sinful or not. Overall I'd see the hug as a healthy thing, but there are sin elements in the experience which need to be subdued. I shouldn't abandon the hug because of the temptaions, but I should not use the hug as an oppertunity to give into or indulge them either.

If I seek first to love God and then the boys He allows me to have around then I'll be on the right track to subdue the sin in my boyloving.

As to societies views of us, a man boy sexual relationship can rarely be reduced down to "abuser and victum" roles. Relationships are always very much more complex than that. There could be elements of abuse in any otherwise healthy relationship and a boy could be victimised and loved and cared for and a dozen other things within one relationship. The media view is so narrow. Even boys who felt that their sexual exprience was a mostly bad or traumatic thing probably have something about it that was positive for them.

Relating is something we do by degrees and we will be better at some parts than others and we will always be growing and learning and maturing. There is no secret formula to good Christian boylovering.... you gotta live it and learn as you go.

Blessings
Cat.