We can all feel love and lust Martin. Sexuality is a contstant challenge to choose love over lust and to put sexual hunger in its proper place.

I hope our efforts to channel our sexual energy into caring and nurturing relationships with boys are actually godly and loving efforts and not just a sugar covering to darker motives.

I know when I watch those vids I see very attractive boys doing an amazing job of singing. I don't experience any immediate desire to sex them up or to fantasise about them. I do have a deep feeling of joy and pleasure at watching them perform though.

I know that a large part of the love I feel for boys is very genuine and sincere and godly and pure and I'll be damned if I'm going to be ashamed of it!
I also know that there is a very erotic component to my interest in boys. So I choose to avoid provoking it as much as I can. Some days I do better than others... but "boyluster"... that could be me anyday.

Don't be too hard on yourself. But don't be too easy on yourself either.

Fight the fight bro.
Blessings
Cat.