Hey Robert-I,

Thanks for this helpful post. :)

Could you please expand on these ideas on imagination and reinvention as I didn't understand them at all:
"It's complete nonsense, of course; the human imagination is very active and it doesn't need to be whetted up by depictions in order to be aware of what the relevant possibilities for action are. If you grow up as a boylover you can easily reinvent all the thoughts of boylove yourself without external aid. Actually, I think neopuritans are vaguely aware of this reality but believe that it should be suppressed as well."


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"she simply feels the complete thought-asceticism involved is your moral duty."
That is exactly what she feels.

"You could conjecture, though, that God gave you a love of boys so that you would indeed fill the lives of boys with love (without unwanted sexual additions) and that this anchorism would defeat God's purpose."
That is exactly how I feel. Which is one reason why I refuse to live by any condition that excludes me spending time with children in a community setting.

Living as a hermit (thought-exclusion) will not help me preserve my marriage.... even if I could do it ... which I don't think I can. My fundamental problem is that I'm simply NOT straight.

Blessings bro
Cat.