Your wife may seem perversely stubborn, but I think that she is really the victim of a modern myth and that her viewpoints just reflect popular culture. For example, our Canadian law bans not only underage porn but also adult porn that simulates underage porn, for example porn featuring adults who seem to be roleplaying being younger than the legal age (until recently 14, now 16). The only possible rationale for this is an attempt at suppressing even the thought or imagination of sex with underage people -- such thoughts are believed, in neopuritanical romanticism, to excite people to the point where they will feel compelled to sexually interfere with real children. Thus such imaginations are to be suppressed completely as the starting fermentation of gross sexual-moral weakness. I call the tactic of trying to block such thoughts "thought-exclusion."

It's complete nonsense, of course; the human imagination is very active and it doesn't need to be whetted up by depictions in order to be aware of what the relevant possibilities for action are. If you grow up as a boylover you can easily reinvent all the thoughts of boylove yourself without external aid. Actually, I think neopuritans are vaguely aware of this reality but believe that it should be suppressed as well.

So your poor wife has made a recipe for thought-exclusion of boylove for you, and I think her underlying belief is that without this external excitement, your mind will change around and become less boyloving. Either that or she simply feels the complete thought-asceticism involved is your moral duty.

Of course, you can live as a hermit in a mental cave, a BL St. Anthony, as much as anyone can, so what she suggests is not impossible. It is monastic and has no relation to protestantism but it can be done.

You could conjecture, though, that God gave you a love of boys so that you would indeed fill the lives of boys with love (without unwanted sexual additions) and that this anchorism would defeat God's purpose.

Perhaps prayer and meditation will tell you whether you are called to be a hermit in order to preserve your marriage, or whether you have a mission to serve boys in the context of normal life. If the latter is true, well -- have you ever ventured to suggest to your wife that your love of boys gives you some valid religious work to do? It sounds like you have been one of the lights of some boys' lives. Hypothetical question: What do you think they would say to her if they were aware of the whole situation? Has their joy redeemed your boylove to some extent?