You are completely right.

The fact that she is asking these things shows that at this point she still does not understand you or what it means to be a BL. Heck she doesn't understand what it means to be sexual it seems either.

1. Keep away from porn and non-porn boy pics.

Like you said this can be accomplished and is a reasonable concession to make.

2. Do not sexually fantasise or masturbate about boys.

As you have said here and to her numerous times you can't have sex with her without doing this, I'm not sure how she still does not understand this with the many times you have told her. If she wants this then she can go without sex which she apparently can't handle. awww her as many BLs never get any in life at all, ever.

3. Keep away from interacting with boys in real life.

don't you have kids, some of whom are male? so there are boys you are interacting with right there. "I didn't mean them" Does she plan on banning all of your kids from having male friends over when you are there? "I didn't mean them either" What about boy relatives who aren't your kids or friends kids or kids at church who you have some other reason for talking to? "I DON'T MEAN THOSE BOYS, GEEZ"

Mrs Cat I can see you thought this through real well, good job.

It's not just that number 3 is infeasible but also unreasonable. Perhaps maybe you can consider doing it if she also agreed to cut off all contact with males other than you regardless relation or martial status. I know she would not do this so there is no real danger of it.

"Also the masturbation issue. I suspect that most married guys masturbate from time to time at least."

I agree, I suspect you are correct.

"Bottom line is if she holds firmly to these conditions then my marriage really is over."

If she will not earnestly try to understand you it will be over. Since you have opened up and admitted you have always been a BL to her over two years ago (correct me if I'm wrong I think that's about how long it has been) she has continually stuck her head in the sand to reality.

I know more than one woman in the same or similar situation that she is in. If she earnestly wants to make this work and is interested I can look at getting her into contact with these women.

Godspell