Hola El Gato,

Sorry....been practicing my Spanish. A good frind of mine is hispanic and he wants me to learn the language. I've told him I almost flunked out of High School Spanish a couple of times, but he just won't believe me. So....now I'm trying again.

But isn't that how our lives go in regards to sin? We try and try and try and for a while we seem to be on the winning side of things. But then down we go again, for the umpteenth time. I don't know how much an "umteenth" is, but I guess it's when you just get sick of counting. Hey, look at what just happened in my life for a good example of that. I thought I was doing great with my pornography addiction and being in recovery from it. Then out of the blue this happens. So I spent the entire Christmas Holiday kicking myself over and over again. You know what you get when you do that? A sore butt! And it dosen't help your spiritual life one little bit.

Thank God I decided to talk to my Pastor and thank God he and I have the kind of relationship we do. He gave me some good advise and I did it and that went well. And you know, all that is very well and good, but who is to say that my battle with this kind of thing is over with? Who know's what kind of tricky garbage the devil has up his sleeve? All I can do is try very hard to learn from my mistakes and move on the best I know how...one day at a time. And I think that is all God would ask from any of us.

The WORST thing we can do is go around in constant worry that we are somehow going to screw up or offend God in some little way with every little thought we have about boys. God knows our thoughts and he is more than well aware of everything there is to know about us. Every deep thing about us is open to him, even the things we ourselves don't know. Yes sin is our friendly enemy, but we can become an even worse enemy to ourselves if we let it get into our heads so bad that all we do is worry night and day about everything. I'm not going to let that happen to me, bro...how about you?

With Love,
Chris