Romans 7:15-20 "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me."

Ok so I've been thinking a lot about this passage.
I am not my sin.
That is what I’m trying to come to terms with. So I have been telling myself that every time I feel a lustful desire then… its no longer me… but sin in me wanting this thing. That HAS been helpful.

“I’m a new creation, I’m not a monster. These evil thoughts don’t come from the real ‘new in Christ’ me. They come from my sinful man… a man now dead and buried in Christ (see Romans 6). They don’t represent who I really am.

The trouble is that I feel very comfortable sinning. Sin is no stranger to me. He’s more like a dear friend and I like when he comes to visit. I guess that’s all part of the sinful nature too. Scripture don’t call him the ‘natural’ man for nothing. Doing sinful stuff feels very ‘natural’ to me.

So I have voices in my head going… “check him out!... wouldn’t you just love to do him!” and “we can have a little fantasy… how’s that hurting anyone?... Imagine the orgasm you could have thinking about a cute boy over a good wank” And these things get me emotional and the voice starts getting passionate and rebellious saying: “Yeah! Why can’t I have a bit of fantasy… who’s it hurting!”

Then I think about Israel in the wilderness… complaining about the manna… asking for meat.
Psalm 78 “17 But they sinned even more against Him by rebelling against the Most High in the wilderness. 18 And they tested God in their heart By asking for the food of their fancy.”

“Why can’t we have!” that’s what they cried. And God gave it to them… that’s the scary part. He gave it to them with judgement!

29 So they ate and were well filled, For He gave them their own desire. 30 They were not deprived of their craving; But while their food was still in their mouths, 31 The wrath of God came against them, And slew the stoutest of them, And struck down the choice men of Israel.

I don’t want that.
So I guess this is where repentance, humility and a renewed mind kick in.
Ok so I am not my sin.
Now I have to deal with my loyalty to my sin.

I have to humbly acknowledge that I have sinned and done so willingly and happily. I have to seek God humbly for His forgiveness (ever available in Christ Heb 4:14-16), His mercy and His help. I need to go to the Scriptures and to prayer for the mind renewing work of the Holy Spirit.

Lord Help us to walk in Your Spirit. Help us to hate our sin rather than love it. Help us to do these things without condemnation…. But in Grace, love and faith may we overcome.

Love in Christ
Cat.