The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But he who listens to counsel is wise. Proverbs 12:15
As boylovers we are in a particular danger; its difficult for us to find counsel.
Who can we go to for help when we want to walk holy and godly in our sexuality? Often the answer is: only to other boylovers.
This is great as far as acceptance, solidarity, empathy and understanding are concerned but what about the very necessary role of exhortation and chastisement? Who is going to discipline us?
I suspect we are not as alone in this overall... I mean... how many straight guys in churches really seek good counsel regarding their sexual struggles?
But my point stands. If we want to seek out that kind of help, its much harder for us. We either have to do it cryptically or we have to come out. Both paths are fraught with difficulty.
There is a great diversity of views amongst Christian boylovers that post here and at cjat.... but again thats not always helpful.
As far as multiple views and diverse counsel are concerned its great. Likewise its great for seeing perspectives you may not usually consider. However, in terms of finding someone with a belief structure close enough to your own to be helpful as a guide, confessor or accountability person... not so easy.
I have to do some things in secret. Even though Im very out to many people, I cant share everything with them about how I manage my sexuality. Even if I choose to seek counsel from the people I am out to there is always a period of them dealing with their own shock towards my feelings and ideas that they have to go through before they can even begin to say anything constructive... sometimes its just not worth it.
The fool in this proverb is happy with his own judgement, hes self-reliant and he thinks hes smart enough to chart his own course. But the spirit of this proverb suggests that listening to the counsel of others is wise. Fortunately we always have the counsel of the Scriptures, but in my opinion we need counsel from God gifted men to hear that well too (Eph 4:11-15).
Father, please lead us to Godly counsel as we seek to walk holy and blamelessly before You. Guide us to men who can lead us and teach us and impart wisdom to us... who can discipline and exhort us to stay upon Your narrow path of life. Help us not to get swept up into the kind of paedophile propaganda (so prevalent on the net) that advocates for intergenerational sexing and thus be led into sin. Where we must be discreet and secretive, help us not to use this as a cloak for indulging sin and vice, rather let us live lives that are free of shame and bring glory to You. I ask this in Jesus name.