For those of you who aren't aware of him, he's 20, at university in another
city, has a girl friend and is straight. He's grown up in the church, but
has turned his back on it for the pleasure of the world. He knows that I'm
a BL, and copes OK with the fact. There is no sexual attraction for him
in me, but I care about him a lot; he's been a significant part of my life
for 6 years now.

Although I was aware that there were some issues, I hadn't realised that
his academic work and his life in general was in as big a mess as it is;
he's just been diagnosed as clinically depressed, which explains a lot of
the situation; he's found sleeping without alcohol difficult, and in general
has been trying to cope with the depression by going out to clubs etc. a
large amount.

Following the diagnosis, it freed him up to admit the degree to which his
life was in a mess, and that carrying out with this year at university is
not realistic. So he will be home sometime next week.

Underlying the 'pure' physical depression are probably a lot of other issues
as well - he is phobic about official things e.g. paying in money at
the bank. And there are probably unresolved issued about his Dad walking
out on him when he was 7.

Most of all I would love him to find God for himself; in the interim I hope
to see him get his life rebuilt so that he can restart his second year at
uni with a greater measure of success. He also needs to find things to do
to keep him occupied and not just looking inward or at a blank wall the
whole time. And all of those around him who care about him (I know the family
quite well) need to get the balance right between encouraging him to do
things and letting him be.