So I might just be going back to jail.  Because I whole-heartedly believe in and love our brotherhood, I am beginning to become very compassionate and passionate about us.  In this book I am reading (All the Apostles of the Bible, by Herbert Lockyer, published by Zondervan), the author writes about the apostles as a "little band of brothers against the world."  This is how I see Christian BLers.  So I am prepared to do whatever I can for us.  If that means sitting in jail for my beliefs (our beliefs), then that's what I will do.  God, and my constant pursuit for the truth has put this very deep within my heart, brother.  I will do this as a child of God, and with all the fruits of the Spirit that I possess.  God is always with me.

I take the 31st Psalm into my heart as my very own.  It says everything I have in my heart right now.  "My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning.  My strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.  Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends; those who see me on the street flee from me."

I am trusting God to keep me safe.  I know that his love and power will protect me.  I believe in him and in his holy word.  And I know that I am both sane and sober.  They may put me in jail again, but they cannot jail my soul.

Shortly after I received this letter, I spoke to Chris on the phone.  He told me that at the fourth session of the sex-offender class, the leader told him that he was delusional, and he was barred from returning.  He was told that he would eventually be brought to trial for the pornography charge, but no date was set, and the court did not recommend jail at this time.  The leader of his alcoholism recovery group told him he could be committed to a psychiatric institution. 

Chris says the worst part now is not knowing what will happen.  He is trying to hold onto his faith, but is starting to feel paranoid and afraid to go outside.