I'm sorry for the last 'Test' post. I just wanted to express my love for children that I have in my heart with a desire to be a father figure and a role model for them. It has been a constant struggle in this day in age with shows like 'Law and Order' and news stories that make us legit folks who care for the will being other children look like creeps and predators, thats why I want to express my thoughts here. It is hard to find folks in real life that understand this. I can remember since a child being attracted to younger folks and protecting them out in the playground. Also having 'breakups' because our attraction seemed so perverse! I so much want to be one with the creator above...as far as I know is Jesus, but I am also struggling with my sexuality, which has caused me so much confusion and pain. I just want to talk it out with folks here. My mother has said (before she passed away) that she wanted me to be a christian and be 'straight'. But I have failed many times. I am attrated to children and love them.... I do not desire to have sex with them... as I want to help them more than anything...although the companion would be nice. I have had some want to 'mess around'. I feel they feel I was a safe place...I respect that.... and since I was a kid myself, I was confused with my sexuality because of my parents slamming me for 'showing mine if I show your yours' scenario. Anyway, if anyone can show some insight that would be great. In the 90s, I used to have a real media (on demand clips) of my boylove shows... although I am a childlover. Thank you!

-Just Me