Christian BoyLove Forum #66966
lovely to hear from you again.
Reasons to get up in the morning
What you said in your post is very true - it's almost counter-intuitive to think the reason we get up in the morning is serving God!
For me, what helps deal with this is mission.
I think I've had similar struggles this summer, especially with the question: "Why live instead of being in heaven already?". The whole story will be published in another post.
Long story short, similarly to Paul in Philippians 1, out of love for the other person and out of the wish for as many to be saved as possible, I started to deem it more valuable to stay and fulfill God's deepest calling for me, instead of wanting to go to heaven ASAP. God wants to use me as a tool in expressing His love and I'm more than eager to oblige, even though at times it is hard.
I think the same principle applies to getting up in the morning. It's a great thing to want to do His will out of love for Him and our neighbour; this can, I think, give us sufficient reason and hope to approach the next day with His grace.
Hope any of this will be helpful!
"we can struggle to find any value in living" - we might not see the reasons; hope!
I think there' s good reason to think that our lives are VERY valuable and worth living, even when we don't feel like that is true. Allow me to demonstrate this through an example:
A very devout Muslim came to America for college, and in order to better his English vocabulary and learn more about the culture got involved with the "Friends of Internationals", a Christian community that arranged for a couple to be his friends and helpers.
He (a LOT later) converted to Christ, but he seems to think the first seed was really planted in his heart by that couple. He says:
"When I met the couple, (...) I met them for the first time and I can tell immediately there's something different about this couple, and everybody else I have met up until that point. (...) I just couldn't put my hand on the reason why they were different.
I am almost comparing myself as a very religious Muslim person to them yet I feel like I'm a SPIRITUAL MIDGET compared to them. It was so annoying to me that they are much better than me spiritually, that I feel that I am ugly from the inside, that I want to be like them! That really bothered me.
If I wasn't a Muslim who prayed, who fasted, who did the rituals, I could've probably blamed myself, saying "because I am not a good Muslim". But I knew I was a very good Muslim (...)because I was convinced I was doing everything by the book.
Yet God in His mercy wanted me to see myself through the mirror of this family."
He doesn't really point to specific actions of this couple, it was just the way they were that intrigued him. Imagine, if we truly walk in the way of the Lord, how many miracles and good works we might be unaware of!
It's worth noting that the family, since getting to know this person and then ending contact after around 8 months, had continued to pray for him for 20 years until he found their phone number and they learned he had already converted some time ago!
God works through us in amazing, and sometimes unnoticed, ways.
Imagine: the stakes are SO high. A person who does not believe can be helped to come to experience eternal and full joy in the Holy Spirit, and we can be a part of that road to salvation.
My story: after finishing high school this year I had to make my choice - I have pondered joining medical university. One of my motivations was, that "if I were to prescribe Ibuprofen [anti-fever painkiller, doesn't really cure much] to 99 patients out of a hundred and tell them they only have a cold, would that not be worth it for that one patient who was unaware of a serious sickness happenning in his body"?
In a similar sense, if we were to just live for the next 20 years and feel like we didn't accomplish anything, but it turned out we helped JUST ONE person to come to know Christ, wouldn't that be worth it?
Thing is - we do not know most of the time. Sometimes even the persons helped do not know who was a factor in their conversion. Even if what we are doing feels meaningless, I think as long as we are discerning and pursuing God's will in our lives, we can have strong hope we are going to be efficient. That we, in fact, will do something great in His name.
This is part of what gives me the strength to rise up and keep trying every time I fall.
[or wake up :) ]
Let us praise Him for allowing us to take part in the glory of doing His will!
From the BL's perspective
You're right that, unfortunately, it can be very challenging for a BL to feel fulfilled and find his way in the current world. I think that BLs can handle this problem the same way other people can - discern and follow the will of God in your life - but the specifics can be a little harder here.
I'm no expert here, although I would recommend trying to find a way of contemplation that would fit one's charism and to go really deep into the relationship with Jesus; balance that with work and some kind of ministry, outreach or volunteering; add some family and social life and that seems like a fair schedule.
Very often married people have to dedicate so much time to their immediate family [the people living in the same home] that they do not have time for such spiritual stuff, but celibate people often have greater freedom in their time management and might be able to make it.
"The Interior Castle" by St. Teresa of Ávila seems to be a great starting point into such spirituality.
I'm really sorry for the bad stuff happening in your life. You are constantly in my prayers, along with everybody reading this.
I hope you will fully be one with Jesus, our Lord and Head, and through that union your life will be filled with love for the neighbour and God himself.