No. God does not want you to suffer and has a plan for everyone. No one said living the Christian life was going to be easy. Don't think as yourself as a boylover or a christian but a creation of God trying to be closer to the creator. Who said it was going for fun? Life is always going to be difficult and you're just going to have push through. Satan enjoys your suffering and hopes it leads you to a destructive path. Satan is like a thief and will and can do anything to try to throw you off it. Why are you trying to get love from other people, Tabs? Maybe you should get yourself evolve in a little Church, pray to God, and just let God tell you want you need to hear. Who knows, if you actually listen you know God has a lot to say to you. If you're trying to get love from other people life is always going to be a disappointment. Love can't be forced or earned. Fortunately God loves you and nothing you did earned it.