Christian BoyLove Forum #66281
This is my first post here. I was referred to you by someone on BoyChat. I was happy to learn that Christian Boylove exists.
Many years ago a young family moved next door to my house. They had a three year old boy. His father worked all the time in manual labor. His father was a very good provider but was seldom home. The little boy saw me out in my backyard playing with my older boy. He stood at the fence watching us play without saying a word.
Eventually, we walked over to him and said "Hi". He asked if he could come over and play too. I told him to ask his mother and if it was okay with her that he could come over. Obviously, she said "yes" or else there would be nothing else to write.
We played chase and tag and we through him around in the air and he had a grand time. After a while, we had to stop playing and this little boy went home.
Later on his mother asked me if I would help him with his reading and I agreed. (Reading turned out to be the way to this boys heart). What began as just a little tutoring turned into a regular activity. We eventually read most of the classics and I turned him on the Bible stories which turned out to be his favorite book.
The long and short of it is that he became an A student throughout the time I worked with him. One time I had to go away for almost a half a month. He was about eight years old then. When I came home he was outside in his front yard playing. When he saw me he came running as fast as he could and he leaped into my arms and gave me this really big hug around my neck and kissed me. That was the first time he ever kissed me.
I knew at that point that I had started something that was going to last the rest of my life. I started expanding my influence on him and got him registered into sports. He became an elite athlete and by the time he was eighteen had reached the pinnacle in his sports with regional and national acclaim.
The problem happened when he was in elementary school. His father was not nurturing so my YF spent so much time with me that he identified with me. His father didn't like it and he decided to move farther away from me. This had a deleterious effect on my YFs emotional state and he never again excelled in school. I managed to stay in his life but I was only able to help him continue in his sports. He never again asked me for help with his school work.
I can understand the jealousy that his father had for me. Nobody wants to see their boy identify with another man. But, his solution hurt his boy in so many ways. First, it made him very sad because he no longer got the daily support and nurturing that he had come to rely on. Second, he gave up on school which cost him scholarships when it was time to go to college. Now he is attending a community college and struggling to maintain decent grades.
Don't get me wrong, he is a terrific young man. He eventually moved back closer to me and I was able to spend more time with him again in his teen years after his parents divorced. I think he is on the right path now and will eventually become a productive member of society.
Because his grades were so poor in high school, he was unable to get the exposure necessary to play professional sports. No division 1 or 2 schools would look at him. It was a tough lesson for him to learn but it's not to late. He could still make it if he turns his grades around in community college. Only time will tell.
Anyway, this is a long winded response. I apologize if I bored you guys. I just wanted you to know what happens to boys when their fathers are physically or emotionally absent. Thank God, for my YF, that his parents had the good fortune to move in next door to a certified boy lover. LOL