Christian BoyLove Forum #66099
In his book, "Confessions of a Pastor", Craig Groeschel says:
"I've had people compliment my leadership, my wisdom, and my preaching, But what they don't know is that I feel like a scared little boy hoping to make it through another week, and I feel that way...all...the...time."
Craig Groeschel is the pastor of lifechurch.tv, one of the largest and most innovative churches in the United States. So, when you feel inadequate, know that you are in good company.
I'm sure you know the biblical examples of amazing leaders who doubted themselves, Moses being the prime example. The truth is that leaders doubt themselves all the time.
I think you're on the right track and you do have to make some tough choices. The fact is that as a leader, you are going to be held to a higher standard. The consequences of your fall will be far greater than if you were not a leader. Fall as a church member and you hurt only yourself, your family, and your loved ones. Fall as a church leader and you hurt your congregation, the church, and the body of Christ as a whole. Serving God may require you to give up on things that other people aren't asked to give up on. But ultimately, it's worth it (Matthew 19:29).
Having said that, I think it's equally important to learn to wait on God's time. You may be called to be a leader, but that call may not be for right now. In the meantime, pray, plan, and prepare.
A great book on this topic is "Visioneering" by Andy Stanley. (can you tell yet that I love to read?).