Christian BoyLove Forum #65728
This post contains a thinly veiled rant, but I plead with you to bear with me as there is no other way to convey my question.
I was a member of a popular BL board for a couple of years, and while there, I had a group of friends who had gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. They invited me into their conversations, sought my opinions on a number of issues, and individually dropped me a line now and again to see how I was doing.
By the time I left the board (not too long before it was seized, actually) the community as a whole had become quite a bit colder. I noticed that I became everybody's "Plan B". I had done everything I could all along to be there for everyone, I always made sure to welcome new people and to offer my friendship to anyone who wanted it. But it became apparent that they weren't interested in friendship anymore.
I started to be shunned because I was too conservative. This is really saying something, as I am more of a middle-of-the-road kind of guy. Of coarse, the fact that I believe in God was a HUGE problem. Even the fact that I am American seemed to be offputting. Now, I understand very well that we yanks have a collective reputation for arrogance, shallowness and a glaring lack of intelligence. But we're not ALL like that!! I promise!
Everybody had time to post tons of nonsensical ramblings on the board, but no one had two minutes to return a personal message or an email. My "friends" kept me close to them when they needed someone to talk to, but were no longer concerned with how I was doing. So I spent the bulk of my time being everyone else's shrink, wailing wall, technical support, etc.
I left the board and resolved to not return to the community at that point. It's difficult to describe how hurtful that entire experience had become, but I know that there are many who will read about my experience and be able to relate completely. For those that do, my heart goes out to you, believe me.
Recently, I tried wading back into the water just to see what the climate was like. I found it to be even worse. My attempts at lighthearted conversation were met with short, curt answers, if there were answers at all. Nobody reached out to me to make me welcome.
Is it just me, or has the entire community turned cold?