Christian BoyLove Forum #64879
Back after I got out of high school, I was actually lucky enough to teach a 7th grade class (a bunch of 12-13 year olds) and a 9th grade class (a bunch of 14-15 year olds). I say lucky because I mean - literally, out of high school, no training other then the teaching/counsiling classes I had taken and made honors in. Reguardless, I do know what it's like to have relentless boys come on to you and want to come close all the time. I had several students tell me on several occasions they where depressed because they where gay and things like that.
I don't know about where you live; but here in the US - one did not dare make a single condesending comment about my relationships with my students. I have a very stern and frightning make up, as well as logic that can blow most people away, and I'm bigger then most kids my age. I loved it, mostly because I do -not- give a fuck about what other people think. I never swept my hand up a boy's knee - hell I rarely put my hand on my shoulder and wished one good luck. What you're going through sucks and I'm sorry you've gotten such a cold reception on that part of life. While teaching I've even developed and KEPT a relationship with a boy (not sexual or anything) with my entire family and his knowing about it. I guess I put on a good heterosexual face.
This isn't advice; but focusing on God really doesn't get anything done. I've given up prayer and church and basically anything Christian entirely over the past year or so. Keep in mind I still have morals that I hold very close. I don't like churches, they are full of actors and racsists and homophopes and it seems that is one thing you can't escape, and I just don't a crap about finding a church, I like my Sunday's. Hell, I came out to my parents recently and our relationships have blossomed, but I can't say I'm gay on a facebook without someone quoting a bible verse. The Christian faith sounds nice, but it's mostly a crack pot. I believe in a higher power and that I was created, and I believe in the evidence that Jesus came and died for us, but I don't get to choose who I love/who I'm attracted to, and I'm not going to be scolded for it, end of discussion. You may find giving up this part of your life to be relieving and satisfying. I know I did.