Christian BoyLove Forum #64375

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OK - from the beginning

Posted by Eldad on 2011-03-14 02:34:27, Monday
In reply to Re: relationship with my best friends son posted by TGG on 2011-03-13 22:54:55, Sunday

The first issue is whether you are married. If so, then your marriage vow is a rather major impediment...

After that you need to decide what is your attitude to a homosexual relationship - any such relationship, not specifically yours. Are you comfortable with the possibility, or do you believe it's always wrong in God's eyes. There are a variety of views on this on this board, and within the church, of course. Now is not a great time to make the decision, but it's a question to try and be clear about.

Once you've passed those issues, you have to decide whether the relationship makes sense for the pair of you. From first principles, a relationship between a 56yo and a 24yo is not doomed, but it is hard work. In the past such age differences were a lot more common; Victorian men often in their 40s often married women in their early 20s. These days the relative health of 50 year olds matches that of their 40 year olds, so it's as valid. If you don't think it's got a serious future, then it's time to forget all about it. Because for a Christian a committed long term relationship ('marriage') is the only place for sex.

Only then do you need to work out how to 'ask for your best friend's son in marriage'... admitting at least a bit of what's been going on under his nose. And only then do we start asking questions like 'Does your friend realise his son is gay?'. What's his attitude to that now / likely to be?

Hope these questions are helpful. I suspect I should have tried to simplify the English, but I wanted to get a response onto the board to show that someone has heard your plea for help. There are no easy answers; God didn't make the world easy, He made it a place where we could be prepared for living with him for ever, but that means it's got to have hard stuff. But when it comes down to it we have to decide what we believe is right before God and do that, because that's all that makes sense ultimately; His way IS the best for us - we just don't want to hear that sometimes.

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