Hello Little Tree,

First of all, I need to say that it is essential for a spouse to know about all sexual issues in their partner's life. If you are not married or engaged yet, this was a perfect time for you to ask this question. I strongly believe in this course of action: When you are sure that this girl is the one you want to marry, you need to tell her. For instance, if you have been talking about marriage for a long time already, and if you think that she is very serious about you, you need to share this with her. Have her promise to keep it confidential no matter what happens, as it is information that can destroy your life. Then in the most loving way possible, in a very intimate safe and private place, where you have lots of time to be with her and help her to emotionally process it, explain it to her. Do this before you buy the ring. If she is accepting of it as my wonderful wife was, then presto! You have the woman that God intended for you! If it's difficult for her at first, then give her time and see what she says later.

As for the church, I need to say a huge NO! Do NOT tell the church leaders or body about it. In my opinion, your wife is the only one who ever needs to know. Even if you did want others to know, a church is just too many people. An individual person is rational, but people as a group are grotesquely irrational.

Guard yourself and stay wary, until society is finally over this sickness.

With love,
Hikaru